Vampires vs. Zombies: 50 Shades of Undead Hotties

I write novels that stomp all over the fine line between urban fantasy and horror. Set in Detroit, the Dead Sexy series is made up of fast paced adventure stories with lots of mystery and tons of romance. The heroine is a mortuary attendant/hunter and the hero is dead... really dead... he's a zombie.

Some people have been asking: "Why zombies? Why not vampires? Vampires are sexy." I totally understand. Vampires are sexy. Brad Pitt is sexy. James Marsters is Sexy. Robert Pattinson is sexy. True Blood is all about the sexy. Why is that?

First, let's take a look at vampires:

Write What You DON'T Know... Research, Research, Research!

Writers of the world, aren't you sick of being told to 'write what you know'? Sure, E.M. Flemming was a British secret agent with a house in the Caribbean--lending ultimate authenticity to James Bond--but not all of us are lucky enough to live a life of murder, mystery, and intrigue.

Instead, we have to take an ember of authenticity and fan it into a roaring fire of truth. Mr. Flemming probably didn't have a flying car (I'm saying probably because British secret agent), but he still managed to write the heart warming family adventure Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang (dirtiest theme song for a Disney movie ever, seriously, think about it). 

So, you've decided to write the next best selling spy novel and you're not an ex-secret agent?

Step 1: Pick a theme, something that you can talk to in a truthful authentic way. Whether it's true love, tortured souls, or the thirst for adventure. There should be something about your characters that you can identify with. While you're picking a theme, go ahead and pick up a few tropes. What is your story about?

Step 2: Research. Read a few books on the subject. Read the Wikipedia page. Go to the bottom of the Wikipedia page and check out the sources. Read the sources. Contact your friends--are any of them secret agents?--try and find someone who knows about the topic at hand.

Step 3: Write your novel! (This is the hard part.) Sit down at your computer and bang out 50 to 100 thousand words. Then do it again.

Step 4: Research some more. Go through your manuscript and double check every single fact. How does that gun work? Who's the most important man at the Pentagon? Then check for tone. I know, tone's not a fact but it is a feeling and it's almost more important. If you're writing a novel about a cop and a circus ringmaster then it better have a light jaunty feel (check out my new novel Tempting the Ringmaster for an example!), but if you're writing about a tortured secret agent whose been kidnapped by the enemy then your tone should probably reflect the situation.

If you do the work then there's no reason you can't turn the old 'right what you know' advice on its head and kick ass writing what you don't know.

Why you should also read... Lee Child

So, this is the spot on the blog where I recommend authors you should read... besides me (roflmao). And, I've got to give a big five stars to Lee Child whose first novel The Killing Floor introduced us to one of my favorite heroes of all time: Jack Reacher.

Reacher was played in the movie by Tom Cruise (not exactly my first choice) and they based it on One Shot--not the first, second, or even third Jack Reacher novel--but it's still pretty good. You should watch the movie, and then you should go read the books, over and over again. Reacher's the dude. The lone stranger who wanders into town and takes out the bad guys. An ex-Army cop he lives on the road, buying new clothes instead of carrying a suitcase, going to war with random bad guys all over America (and, on one memorable occasion, in England). He's a one man army, and he does pretty good with the ladies too.

If you want an alpha hero who can take on fifty men with a hard look and a harder right hook then check out Jack Reacher today. He's my favorite book boyfriend... and I've read 50 Shades of Gray.

Aleah Barley

Small town cop, big top girl ~ Buy Tempting the Ringmaster today!

5 Rules for Writing Your Novel

1. Write your novel. I don't care whether it's romance, mystery, or sci-fi. If the aliens invade the White House and end up taking the president out for drinks then good for you. Just write. Sit down at your laptop and write. Why are you still reading this post? You should be writing!

2. Read alot. Okay, sometimes you shouldn't be writing. Sometimes you should be reading. Everything. Read your genre, read another genre, read a classic, read the New York Times. Eat some cheese. Read some more. Why are you still looking at this post? You should be reading!

3. Edit like a mad fiend. Seriously though, most of writing is rewriting. Everything you've written should be rewritten at least twice then handed to a friend who can tell you it's crap so you can edit it again. Go edit something, this post will wait.

4. Take a deep breath, relax, eat some ice cream. Writing is about taking care of yourself. Unless you're Ernest Hemingway, in which case it means being an alcoholic. Check yourself, are you Ernest Hemingway? Do you live in the Florida Keys with a metric ton of six toed cats? Do you have a white beard? Do random people call you Papa? (Those last two might also be signs that you're Santa Clause) If you have checked yourself and you've come to the conclusion that you're Hemingway then please turn yourself in at the nearest hospital. If you're not Hemingway then there's no reason why writing should be a destructive process. Go get some ice cream, right now.

5. Do it all over again...

What do you think? Do you have any advice for writing? What do you like to see in a writer? Are you Hemingway? Leave a comment below!

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Why you should ALSO read... Robert B. Parker

Okay, this is a romance related blog. I am a romance author and a romance reader. On the other hand, "a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." You can't just read romance (although I know some of you try) which leads us to the latest segment of A Cold Cup of Coffee titled "Why you should ALSO read..." Today's ALSO read is Robert B. Parker. He's dead. It's tragic. His books live on.

Robert B. Parker was the dean of American crime fiction. That means he wrote hard core, hard boiled, gum shoe novels with more than a few high brow literary references thrown in. The man wrote his PhD thesis on the noir novel... and then he used that thesis as the template for his first noir novel The Godwulf Manuscript. His most prolific character was Spenser whose adventures as a gumshoe were turned into a television show... I hear (I'm too young to have seen it)... and whose girlfriend troubles mirrored Parker's own life. He also wrote about a studly small town police chief (currently played on television by Tom Selleck) starting with Night Passage, a spunky female P.I. starting with Family Honor, and a pair of gun fighting cowboys (Ed Harris and Viggo Mortenson in the movie, le sigh) starting with Appaloosa.

And those were just his more well known series. Robert B. Parker wrote over seventy books in his lifetime and each one of them is a fast paced joy to read... and reread. They're littered with literary references and inside jokes, and as I read more over my lifetime I always find something new to enjoy. (Of curse, you'll still love them even if you've never read The Faerie Queen).

That's why you should ALSO read Robert B. Parker.

Who else should you ALSO read? Post below in the comments!

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Why you should ALSO read... 50 Shades of Gray

I know, you're all like "Listen, I've heard about 50 Shades of Gray. Everyone's reading it. It's not a romance novel, and I don't read porn" unless you're like "Read it, loved it, recommend more porn."

Here's the thing about 50 Shades... I'm not recommending it as a romance novel. I'm recommending this under the 'humor' category and the 'fantasy' category. Let's be honest, the sex in 50 Shades may or may not be realistic (I'm trying not to crush anyone's hopes and dreams) but there's a heck of a lot about this book that still counts as farcically funny fantasy, starting with...

1. The main character just graduated from college and doesn't own a computer.

2. All the cars are Audis.

3. He tells her to eat all the time.

and

4. SHE DOESN'T HAVE A COMPUTER. Seriously, she wa s an english major. It's crazy.

50 Shades is polarizing. Some people love it, some people hate it, I stayed up all night laughing my ass off. I recommend that you pour yourself a drink, pull up a chair, and read it proudly while your internal cheerleader does jumping jacks in the corner.

That's why you should ALSO read 50 Shades of Gray.

Who else should you ALSO read? Post below in the comments!

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